When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize