she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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