It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
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I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
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Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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