i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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