I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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