Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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