i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize