I wish I only lived at night.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Randomize