it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize