dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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