Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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