Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize