Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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