My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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