Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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