if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
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Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize