just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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