I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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