another moral hangover. fuck.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
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You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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