Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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