Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
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Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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