I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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