I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize