i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
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I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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