Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize