so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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