actually, I'm a sock model
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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