Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My penis needs a shock collar
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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