Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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