I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize