just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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