Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that

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(313): Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that http://tfl.nu/fftq

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(432): View more from Texas

So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?

(207): View more from Maine

You need to stop watching Twilight.

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(432): So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler? (207): You need to stop watching Twilight. http://tfl.nu/oudp

Replies (48) Good night (1121) Bad night (1308)
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(503): View more from Oregon

You'll be proud of me

(1-503): View more from Oregon

Who did you not have sex with

(503): View more from Oregon

Damn it...you know me too well

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(503): You'll be proud of me (1-503): Who did you not have sex with (503): Damn it...you know me too well http://tfl.nu/ealw

Replies (13) Good night (4899) Bad night (580)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.

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(978): dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/gwo8

Replies (59) Good night (5070) Bad night (4629) Order T-Shirt
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(623): View more from Arizona

I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.

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(623): I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite. http://tfl.nu/mkl5

Replies (30) Good night (1316) Bad night (5902) Order T-Shirt
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.

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(902): you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face. http://tfl.nu/e2jp

Replies (16) Good night (4972) Bad night (915) Order T-Shirt
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(727): View more from Florida

Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.

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(727): Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen. http://tfl.nu/2lhp

Replies (5) Good night (1941) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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(704): View more from North Carolina

So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...

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(704): So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ... http://tfl.nu/bcgx

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.

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(832): I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic. http://tfl.nu/1uqk

Replies (6) Good night (1167) Bad night (568)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio

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(651): Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio http://tfl.nu/cnyx

Replies (6) Good night (884) Bad night (522)
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(613): View more from Ontario

You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".

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(613): You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast". http://tfl.nu/iqmw

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(+79): View more from

Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.

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(+79): Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled. http://tfl.nu/hu4k

Replies (1) Good night (746) Bad night (253)
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(858): View more from California

He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"

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(858): He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup" http://tfl.nu/blqz

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(775): View more from Nevada

Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot

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(775): Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot http://tfl.nu/cjjt

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(310): View more from California

That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.

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(310): That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better. http://tfl.nu/qdjx

Replies (1) Good night (316) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt

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