first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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