he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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