dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize