Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize