her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize