Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
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Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
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We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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