Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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