Little spoons don't ask big questions
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We are all done wearing pants today
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize