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She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Rumble strips road head = magical
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
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