I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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