True but thats because hes a fetus.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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