i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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