I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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