Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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