I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just gift wrapped bread.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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