I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize