Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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