Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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