What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
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Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
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I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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