so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
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